Let’s talk about something that will immediately start to change your life the moment you truly get it: Most people aren’t stuck because they’re lazy, undisciplined, or haven’t found the right diet, protocol, or regimen. They’re stuck because they’re trying to fix the wrong thing.
We’ve been taught to believe that if we just find the right program, the perfect diet, or the most efficient routine, then everything will finally click into place. We’ll heal. We’ll lose the weight. We’ll stop procrastinating or binge-eating or spiraling into fear. But that’s not how real transformation works. Because no matter how many protocols you try or how committed you are for the first 10 days, if your identity and beliefs are working against you, your nervous system will always pull you back to what it knows.
Here’s what most people miss: Your behaviors are NOT the root problem. They’re a downstream effect of something deeper—your beliefs about yourself, which were often shaped long before you even had words for what was happening.
By the age of seven, your nervous system was already hard at work interpreting your environment and assigning meaning to what you experienced. If a parent left or emotionally withdrew, you may have internalized the belief: I’m unlovable. If you were constantly criticized, you might have learned: I have to be perfect to be safe.
These beliefs weren’t logical—they were protective. And now, decades later, you’re still operating from those early subconscious programs. They’re running the show behind the scenes, influencing your habits, your relationships, your health, and your ability to thrive.
So no, the answer isn’t another fancy diet or stricter routine. The answer is going upstream.
Ask yourself:
- What belief is driving this pattern that I want to change?
- What identity am I unconsciously living out?
- Where did I learn this, and do I want to keep carrying it?
Real healing starts when you stop obsessing over what you’re doing and start looking at who you believe you are.
When you shift your identity—when you finally start to see yourself as worthy, capable, and safe—your behaviors begin to shift naturally. Not from force, but from alignment.
That’s how we create lasting change.
And this is exactly why one of my favorite quotes is from Carl Jung: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
If we don’t become aware of the deeper program driving our choices—the beliefs and identity we never consciously chose—then we’ll keep reliving the same unwanted outcomes, over and over again, calling it bad luck, self-sabotage, or failure… when really, it’s just a protective pattern playing out.
The work isn’t about changing harder. It’s about changing deeper.
