The more you do to try to heal—change your diet, take supplements, exercise, start a breathing practice, meditate, heal your gut, balance your hormones, remove food sensitivities, prioritize deep sleep, incorporate fasting, try keto, etc.—the stronger the perceived “danger signal” being sent to your brain and nervous system. And in turn, the more symptoms you’ll have!
If the whole world understood this, we’d experience so much less sickness, suffering, and pain. Let me explain. Our bodies are responding to the state we’re in, not all of the things we’re doing to fix ourselves. In fact, these things we’re doing to fix ourselves are often just more confirmation that we need fixing and aren’t well.
One of the most common things I hear from people who come to me for help is that they’ve “literally tried everything.” But did you know that trying everything is actually causing what you’re trying to overcome? Did you know that your desperation to heal is what is keeping you sick and unwell? Did you know that constantly searching for the next healing protocol or guru is signaling your body to stay sick and stuck?
I lived this for so long. In order to overcome my own chronic health issues, I had to understand the complex brain science behind it: our bodies reflect the messages we give them, not just the things we do. When we are in a constant state of fixing and trying to heal, we send ourselves the message that we’re not safe as we are. This results in more nervous system dysregulation, which is the root cause of our symptoms in the first place.
Basically, our bodies don’t reflect who we are trying to become—they reflect who we are right now: somebody desperately and frantically trying all the things to heal. And the more frantic and fearful the energy behind our efforts, the more we signal to our bodies that we’re in danger, causing even more imbalance and resistance to healing. This is why, despite doing everything “right,” we can still feel stuck in a cycle of unwellness. Understanding this was a game-changer for me and became a pivotal part of my healing journey.
As long as our drive to heal ourselves comes from a place of fear and the need to fix, we will remain unwell. This is because it’s not just about what we do—it’s about *why* and *how* we do it. The energy behind our actions is everything. If we approach healing with desperation, anxiety, or the belief that we are broken and need to be fixed, our bodies reflect that. We essentially signal to ourselves that we are unsafe as we are, and that fear drives our nervous system into a state of constant stress, making it harder for our bodies to heal.
On the other hand, when we begin to fuel our healing journey with love, compassion, and acceptance, we shift the energy around our actions. We’re no longer pushing ourselves to fix something that’s “wrong” with us; instead, we’re supporting and nurturing our body because we trust it, love it, and believe it can heal. This feeling of safety is what allows the nervous system to relax and enter a state of rest and repair—only in this state can true healing begin. So, it’s not just about what we’re doing to heal, but the intention, energy, and mindset behind those actions that truly make a difference. Our bodies reflect our “why” and “how” even more than our “what.”
When healing is approached from a place of love and acceptance instead of fear, the focus shifts from fixing what is “wrong” to nurturing and supporting the body’s innate ability to heal. Self-care practices become acts of self-love and compassion. For example, someone might choose to eat nourishing foods and engage in gentle exercise—not because they feel obligated to fix their health issues, but because they genuinely want to honor and care for their body. This shift in mindset fosters a sense of safety, calms the nervous system, and allows the body to enter rest and repair—the ONLY state in which healing can happen.
If there’s anything you take away from this, let it be this: your body cannot heal in a state of perceived danger. All your efforts to fix yourself may be creating way more perceived danger than you’re aware of.
No, this doesn’t mean you should stop taking care of yourself, eating healthy, or supporting your body—but it does mean it’s time to take a hard look at “why” and “how” you’re doing those things. Are you coming from a place of love or desperation? That shift in approach could be exactly what you need to unlock the true healing you’ve been searching for.
