From the time we’re little, many of us are taught—directly or indirectly—that showing emotion is weakness. The lessons don’t always come as lectures; they slip into the words and phrases we hear over and over, shaping how we learn to deal with feelings.
“You’re so strong.” (Translation: Don’t show emotion.)
“She didn’t even cry.” (As if not crying is an achievement.)
“Stop being so sensitive.” (Shame your emotions.)
“Suck it up.” (Ignore your body’s natural response.)
“Boys don’t cry.” (Toxic conditioning disguised as strength.)
“Man up.” (Suppress, suppress, suppress.)
Over time, these messages teach us one thing: emotions aren’t safe, welcome, or acceptable. So we push them down, shut them off, or pretend they don’t exist. But silencing your emotions doesn’t mean your body has forgotten them.
Most of us are born and bred into emotional suppression—and we wonder why our nervous systems are stuck in survival mode. I did, too. Until I realized that the fastest path to healing from chronic illness was not another protocol, cleanse, or supplement—it was nervous system regulation. And the fastest way to regulate the nervous system? Learning to process and actually feel your emotions.
After over a decade of personal experience and study, alongside coaching thousands of others, I can confidently say this: the number one needle mover in healing chronic symptoms is not what you eat or how many things you check off your healing to-do list. It’s your ability to safely move through emotion. That’s it. And yet, most of us were never taught how to do this. We were taught to intellectualize, to cope, to distract. We were rarely shown how to be with our feelings in a way that brings resolution—not just rumination.
When emotions—especially those rooted in childhood trauma—go unprocessed, they get stored in the body. And when that happens, your nervous system stays stuck in defense mode: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. You might not feel “stressed,” but your body is still bracing. And as long as your system is in that state, healing becomes nearly impossible.
Processing emotions is not a nice-to-have. It’s essential. Because unprocessed emotion keeps the body on high alert. It fuels inflammation. It disrupts digestion. It dysregulates hormones. And eventually, it manifests in the form of chronic symptoms.
So if you’ve tried everything and nothing is working—if you’re tired of chasing fixes that don’t last—this might be your missing piece. And I get it. This work can feel messy, uncomfortable, even overwhelming at first. But it’s also the most powerful thing you’ll ever do for your health.
Your body doesn’t need more control. It needs more connection. And your healing begins the moment you stop shutting down what you feel—and start learning how to move through it with safety and presence.
Because real strength isn’t suppression. It’s softness. It’s safety. It’s finally being free to feel.
