When you begin to take better care of yourself, it is completely normal to want your family and loved ones to be on board.
Honestly though, who doesn’t want the best for their loved ones?! It can be very difficult to watch loved ones walk a path different than our own, one that we know can lead to health issues down the road.
Navigating this isn’t easy. I’m speaking from years of personal experience, years of pain and agony, and deep frustration.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
- YOU CANNOT CHANGE OTHERS
- YOU CANNOT FORCE OTHERS TO VALUE WHAT YOU VALUE
- YOU CANNOT FORCE OTHERS TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF THEIR BODIES
And, if you do try any of the above, there’s a good chance that your deep desire to help your loved ones may drive them farther away from you.
But your hands are not tied. Here’s what you CAN do:
Listen without judgment! If your loved ones don’t have positive health habits, it’s important to have an open two-way conversation about it. Listen to what your loved ones have to say, as their feelings are valid. Instead of constantly thinking of rebuttals and attempting to prove that your view is right, try to listen without judging or offering your opinion. Be kind and compassionate, no matter what. Remember that our lived experiences are all different, and they are making decisions based on a lifetime of experiences that we may not have had or understand. Even though you are coming from a good place and you may even be right, it is not worth jeopardizing relationships. Practicing empathy and grace will always strengthen a relationship.
Lead by example! Live your life in a way that honors your desires and is true to who you are and what you believe. Eat your healthy food, move your body, and do what you need to be the best version of yourself! Most often when our loved ones see what we are doing and witness our health and vitality, they’ll begin to ask questions, which opens the door to conversation.
- Do not offer unsolicited advice. When we feel excited and passionate about our health, we often want to share everything we know. This can quickly become irritating and can feel like we’re being critical or nagging others. Consider taking mental notes of times you feel compelled to make a comment, but choose instead to remain quiet and non judgemental.
I know you have good intentions, and want nothing more than for your loved ones to feel the same vitality and energy that your healthy lifestyle has brought you. I understand the frustration of not speaking out, but I can also tell you that trying to change others doesn’t work, and it can leave you feeling frustrated and depleted.
The truth is, not everybody understands the weight of their decision, or has the capacity to love themselves as deeply as you have learned to do. Not everybody is ready to heal and thrive.
It’s not your job to fix people or save people. You focus on being the best version of you! That’s ALL you can do.
